I’m a Hustler: a Ear Hustler

Have you ever been in a line : at a grocery store, at the bank, waiting for your chinese food order like I was one day, or waiting in the chipotle line like I was today (yes as you can tell I am not doing that great on the diet front just yet) and hear a great conversation behind you?
You, know ones where you don’t really mean to listen in on, but your ears perk up and next thing you know you walk slowly or tune everything else out so that you can hear the rest of the story…
Or even the ones you really could care less about, but the person around you is talking so loudly they have now included you in their conversation and now you can’t help but laugh out loud when they weren’t talking to you?

It’s called.. Ear Hustlin’ : one who listens in on a conversation
Used to be called eavesdropping, now referred to as ear hustlin’

For whatever reason, I have found myself in that situation a little more often then usual.. probably because I have been in more carryout lines then I need to be. 
But I figured I would share some of the conversations that I ear hustled due to being in that awkward situation where people talk so loud you can’t help but get sucked into their conversation. 
Conversation #1: Lady on the Phone with someone at the Chinese Carry Out
Random Lady 1- “Girl, she stopped speaking to her father… for like 6 months now!”

[cell phone person speaks – I assume asks “why?”]

RL: “Girl, because her dad got married and didn’t invite her!”

[CPP responds]

RL: “It wasn’t like a real wedding or anything. I mean, he went and got married at the Justice of the Peace, does that even count?”

[CPP responds]

RL: “I know, I tried to explain it to her. They got married and had their reception at IHOP”.
at that point.. her order was up.
I held every bit of laughter within me because instantly I imagined it went something like this:

I just didn’t want to laugh in her face.. didn’t want her to know I was ear hustlin’ on accident…
Conversation #2: In the line at Chipotle.. Young Lady on the Phone with her friend seeking relationship advice.
YL: “Yes I asked him… I just mentioned twitter beef and he knew who I was talking about”
[Pause for person on Cell Phone]
YL: “I wanted to tell him, I KNOW her …whole… name!
[Pause for person on Cell Phone]
YL: “… but he has always told me that the only people he has slept with has been friends.”
[Pause for person on Cell Phone]
YL: “well, he said he was drunk and that he would talk to her.. well no, they are friends but they haven’t been on close speaking terms”
[Pause for person on Cell Phone]
YL: “oh.. no she was sober.. see that’s the problem that he wanted to address.”
[Pause for person on Cell Phone]
YL: “Well, I told him I don’t feel special and I am not going to take being treated like this. I have a higher level of standards.”
[Pause for person on Cell Phone]
YL: “well, he did say he just left when he finished …
[Pause for person on Cell Phone]
YL: “I am going to see him tonight…
… oh naw, you know girl, just talking to someone from school. You know how it is.. you always run into someone you know at Chipotle.
But naw, we will go out tonight, but I reminded him HIGHER LEVEL OF STANDARD! He had to know he can’t just keep getting drunk and sleeping with friends”
Young Lady — get a grip on reality. A higher level of standard is not exclusive friends with benefits relationships. I mean REALLY?! Get off Twitter and go get checked!
As much as I was now knee deep in her conversation and had yet to turn around to see what she even looked like, I was hoping that the self-respecting woman in her would say: 
It really ended like : 

YL: “Girl, let me call you back, that’s him now..” 

“Hey Boo.”

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6 thoughts on “I’m a Hustler: a Ear Hustler

  1. Sparkling says:

    I'm always shocked when total strangers look to other total strangers to be on their side when telling a story or trying to win an argument. The look of “am I right? Isn't she being totally ridiculous?” as they look at you to join their side. People are so weird in public! And I'm the troll that won't take part. I just look at them strangely, like they are the weirdos. Found you at finding the funny.

    Like

  2. Kelley says:

    First, you are SO AWESOME for putting that IHOP wedding on here! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! Oh, I love that. I could see that happening with some distant cousins. Also? I really, really love the phrase “ear hustlin'”! I'm defnitely using that one! (I do it all the time, too).

    Thanks for linking this up to #findingthefunny this week. 🙂

    Like

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