Before we go any further.. I just want to say that Tiffany is featuring me today as one of her June Sponsors so go and check her out here.
you can read Part 1 here.
#1: Lady in the waiting room with her son who is on Probation:
Mother: “I remember when I was down at the courthouse with you.. and I was really tired and I had you on my lap and you were eating popcorn and cupcakes… and there was a camera up there like that [points to the camera in front of my office door] and you fell! and they came running around there saying I dropped you because you had the food all over you..
Mother: “I told them, I didn’t drop you. I wasn’t sleep!”
Son: “how did I fall then?”
#2 My coworker describing how she hurt her hand:
Coworker: “I woke up over the weekend and it was stiff. I couldn’t move it or anything. I thought that it would be better by at least wednesday but when it wasn’t I went to the doctor because I thought it was a sign of stroke”
….” they gave me a sonogram, a mammogram.. they did everything on my hand!”
Me: “LOL Really?! a Mammogram!?”
Coworker: “yup! then told me it was a sprain and wrapped it up. So now I am walking around with this on my hand”
[Mind you when I asked her what happened yesterday in front of other people, she said it was because she was doing a certain sex act for too long! LOL! HA! This woman is in her 60’s!!!!! YIKES!]
and OH.. THIS ONE takes the cake for me!
Part of my job: to listen to lies all day–
Called Offender at his job –
Me: Why can’t you manage to call me back!
Him: I don’t have a phone. I am so sorry, when do you want me to come and see you?”
Me: “You need to get here NOW!”
Him: “I am so sorry, I really didn’t have a phone, but I get paid today and I am going to get a new one so that I can call you back from now on.”
10 mins later
Him: “Oh I am sorry, I saw this number on my phone and I was calling it back”
Me: “It’s your officer .. and apparently you have a phone!”
Him: “So what time am I supposed to come see you?”…