I have Wife Guilt –
There are times where I really feel guilty about some opportunities that come my way and I feel terribly guilty that I can’t share them with my husband. Afterall, we are supposed to share the rest of our lives together. I can’t stand to see disappointment on his face and of course, I am hard on myself and feel like I am the cause of some major disappoints.
I really don’t even know if its a newlywed thing- this wanting my husband to be a part of everything, or the feeling guilty because he can’t come or that I leave him at home to go have fun with the girls. Is it just me? will I ever get over this horribly guilty feeling…
For example, I left hubby at home all weekend to go to Sorority weekend. Something that clearly there was no need for him to be at. But being at a conference always throws my schedule off and I feel bad because it seems like for that one weekend I am away that we are in a long distance relationship and I am not doing my part in keeping in touch.
I also feel guilty when I get tickets to something and I don’t get a plus one. As my sister would call it “The Married Struggle” – it’s like do you not go because your husband can’t go or do you just go and pray he isn’t too disappointed that you won’t be able to tell him how awesome-sauce it was.
I remember once where I took my husband then boyfriend to the Stellar Awards- a gospel awards show. It had been my second time going and it was his first time being there. What made it extra special was that two artists whom he produced were up for Best New Artist. On the show that year, the Best New Artists were able to perform a snippet of their single – the two artists happen to perform songs that he produced. Well, show was over so to beat the crowd- boyfriend goes to get the car while I go with the artist to help him pack his things that he brought over to perform in the show. Well, once backstage I met everyone… literally took pictures, made jokes, had random video moments of everyone in Gospel I had ever want to meet… and where was producer boyfriend- waiting out front with the car. I felt so guilty.
Now, I have offers to multiple Balls in Washington, D.C. for Inauguration, but of course I get no plus one. I turned down two because I just knew it would not be fair nor would it be enjoyable. One I could attend because more then likely it will be a mostly female crowd. But then… I got a call that perhaps I was not going to get a plus one to the swearing in like we did last time. In 2008, not only did my boyfriend get to go with me but so did my sisters then NEW boyfriend and my parents. Well, rules changed and now we are sitting waiting for confirmation of tickets. My sister and I are guarenteed along with my parents. But God knows I am going to feel SUPER GUILTY telling hubby, he can come to the hotel, but I am not sure if I can take you to any balls or the swearing in this time.
Does anyone else feel guilty when they get to do something amazing and can’t share it with their husband? what do you do? do you go? or do you opt out?
and it sucks.
Praying that something comes through because God knows I don’t want to have to tell him any news like that.