Two Heads Are Better Than One…. Right?


This day, almost three years ago now – was the day I knew that I was going to be with my best friend for the rest of my life. Someone whom I loved and could easily laugh with. The difference was that although we knew that this was not only the right thing to do but what God had definitely put together, you go into it mostly unknowing of what may happen in the future.
You plan as much as you can. And trust me, we planned more for the marriage then I did for our elaborate wedding and thats saying a lot! But you do not know the decisions that you will actually make until they are presented to you. Up until that point, you are talking through hypothetical situations (which by the way I think it is crucial to do. Some topics should NEVER be saved to work out in the name of love post-wedding).

So before you think that I am going somewhere different with this post. Let me get to what I am really trying to say – As much as we marry a person for the things that we have in common and the things that we accept, its the differences that will make marriage seem like work. Its not impossible, but its doable AND its totally worth it.

So often I think we see these indescretions in marriage, or people giving up because they get to a place down the road where fundamental differences start shining through and they feel as though the person has changed. Not so – who they are in that situation had not yet arose for you to work through. You think that two heads are better than one, but what do we do when you two are bumping heads? Trust me, there are moments where you wish you didnt have to consult the other person to make a decision.
Have we worked through differences? Of course!
One of the first things that we had to work through when we moved in together was which direction the toilet paper was supposed to go on the roll. It may seem like something so minor, but when you add that to, What side of the bed do you prefer to sleep on? Who gets what side of the bathroom? What side of the closet do you want? And you begin to feel like you are arguing or compromising on everything that you are used to.
So if there are lessons that I have learned almost three years later – its that my husband is pretty set on how things should go. He will hear me out and at times compromise, however, I have to respect the fact that he bases what he desires on how he was raised and his life experiences.
Another difference between the two of us is how we handle money. We are both good at managing money and multiple accounts – we just do it differently. And each month I am sure of it – we work each others nerves on how money should be alloted. In the beginning of our marriage, I was all for separate but equal bank accounts and he had to persuade me to accept joint bank accounts. Something about my money sharing space, which it never had to do scared the living daylights out of me. Probably because it was ok when I could just spend my money how I wanted but now I was going to have to be accountable for each dollar I spent. I swore I was going to get hounded for my numerous trips to Target and unnecessary trips to Starbucks and McDonalds – it turns out not so much. He just budgeted around my habits and manages our household according to what we need to do. And there are times where I look at him questioning why he may manage our household income the way that he does, and I tell you my overanalytical law and order mind just wants to have things done a certain way, but at the end of the day – since being married, I have never been without nor have we ever been in danger of being on the streets or having things cut off. We’ve actually been more blessed financially as married couple than we have when we were single sharing bills and what not.
Now, with our daughter on the way – we will definitely see differences in what we choose to provide her and how we plan to raise her. I have seen it make or break couples. I am praying that as God has definitely helped us get this far.. he will help us get through this little person that we have so much to teach.
Just a little bit of reflection, thinking about how we have been almost married for 3 years, dated for 3 years was friends for 3 years and now sit here pregnant after trying for almost 3 years with my first child – half baked – officially. Life is changing. And sometimes you just need a reminder that everything may not be perfect in your relationship or even your marriage, but never give up in the perfecting process. Happily ever after is attainable. 

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All I see is Signs.. All I see is Delta Signs

July 11th – July 17th was the 51st National Convention of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority. It is absolutely no secret that I am a Legacy of a Founder of Delta Sigma Theta and I say that with such great pride because Delta didn’t come to me as a fondness for a group of women but rather it came to me through family history and stories shared around the dinner table.  There is the history you can find on the National Website, then there is a history sang in proud chants and what not – debates among other black Sororities, but one thing I know for sure, because not only did my Great-Grandmother co-found Delta Sigma Theta, she married a younger man who was a professor at Howard, a member of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity and the advisor to the chapter at Howard University, Beta Chapter: Delta Sigma Theta was not founded by disgruntled women who did not make the cut for the only Black Sorority in existence, founded in 1908, Alpha Kappa Alpha – in fact it was quite the opposite. And I mean absolutely no disrespect to anyone who belongs to any other sorority in the Divine 9 because my history has taught me to love all other sororities because we each have a purpose… [and in fact I also belong to another Co-ed Service Fraternity] but anyway, The 22 founders of Delta Sigma Theta were members of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority. AKA was a group of women, a sorority that was founded and took a name similar to their counterpart Alpha Phi Alpha and would serve as a “sweetheart” group of sorts to assist the men in planning their social gatherings and be the group of women who would support the fraternity in an era where you would have to accept gentleman callers requests and if you wanted to go on a date, you would have to be chaperoned; I mean what better way to meet men!  However, in a Chapter meeting one day of the young undergrads at Howard, it was decided that they wanted to rename the sorority and change the letters and all symbols to reflect more of a social action mission since this was the year that Women’s Suffrage was coming to the forefront. What better way to capture the attention of people by choosing a bolder color to stand out from the crowd: so instead of Pink and Green – Crimson and Cream were selected.. and the rest is history. I am proud of a women who decided it was better to serve all women and her country through social action. We kicked off our Centennial Year remembering those actions, and reenacted the March on Washington for Women’s Suffrage and this entire Convention this past week we celebrated the many accomplishments of our sorority as Delta Sigma Theta is now the largest Black Sorority in the world. With over 40,000 active Deltas who registered for Convention, we took D.C. by STORM! There was Crimson and Cream every where.. I will share with you some highlights of what I participated in. Day One First things first, D.C. honored the Sorority by renaming the street that houses the headquarters of Delta Sigma Theta by renaming it Delta Sigma Theta Way. [it is kind of funny because on the same block is another sorority’s headquarters, Zeta Phi Beta Sorority – their president made it clear that they will not be accepting any Z Phi B mail addressed to DST Way. LOL] 

We went to Howard University, my alma mater, where a new stained glass window honoring Delta Sigma Theta was dedicated and installed in the historic Andrew Rankin Chapel.
We left the chapel and travelled behind it to a space called “The Valley”… interestingly enough, the Valley is called that at Howard because its where all the science buildings are. It is short for Death Valley. Because if you ever want to graduate, you have to take a class from these buildings in one of the sciences and it is NOT easy – trust me.  It is also the location of the founding of Omega Psi Phi Fraternity and Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity.
Since the National Convention it is now renamed, “Fortitude Plaza” in honor of the Delta Symbol of Fortitude that is planted right in the middle of it.
It has been expanded to include markers for each founder of Delta Sigma Theta .
If you ever go, my Great Grandmothers Marker is at the foot of the Fortitude Statue
Day Two
Mom and I got up to head to the Lincoln Memorial where Delta Sigma Theta held their Public Meeting. It is the one meeting that is open to the public where all the other sororities and fraternities’ Presidents come to celebrate with us and we get to have a concert and enjoy the kick off of the convention before the business sessions begin.
Rain or Shine, we were out there!

My mom even learned how to do the Wobble. She said it was the one line dance that always eluded her. She got really good at it too… Mind you, I could not help but to die laughing the entire time that she was learning her lesson.
Musical Guests this year for Public Meeting were : Brandy

and Doug E. Fresh

We left the Lincoln Memorial and it was time for Revival.
We hold a church service also prior to the Convention just so we cover our convention and sorors in prayer. 30 years ago when my mother became National Chaplain at a National Convention in Dallas, TX, there was a plane crash. On that plane was Sorors who were travelling to convention. Needless to say, it was a cloud of sadness over the convention that needed to be lifted – thus the Friday Night Revival was born.

Musical Guests included Jonathan Nelson

We left there, and it was time for the Step Show! (are you tired yet, because my pregnant self sure was as each event was at a different venue).

It was hosted by Nephew Tommy of The Steve Harvey Morning Show (member of Kappa Alpha Psi) and Kym Whitley of Raising Whitley (soror of Delta Sigma Theta)

Definitely was SO much fun – lots of work, but indeed a lot of fun…
Stay tuned for more.

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Keeping my head above Water

I have a confession: I have only been at work 5 days this month! I would love to say that I have enjoyed each day that I have not been in the office, grant it , its quite enjoyable at times, but it was still hard work and not so much relaxation and of course that means, I have a lot of work that I am catching up on. What suffers? My body and My Blog.  All the energy and time it takes for me to track my people down, make sure they have checked in to see me before the end of the month and a whole bunch of stuff in between, I am utterly exhausted – not to mention the additional person that is continuously growing and also sucking my energy levels dry.  However, I have so many posts in cue and so many pictures from where I have been, especially the Delta Convention,  so those will be coming soon.  In other words, I am barely keeping my head above water here… so bare with me.  As of late, its been more movie watching: Recently, Red 2 and Grown Ups 2 – both were really good movies.

This week, my second pregnancy related purchase this week was obtained –
When I tell you I carry this thing every where around the house. It not only supports my sleeping in bed, but its the best pillow to surround my body when I want to be comfortable on the couch. I have heard such great things about it AND I see why people rave about it. Plus, it was on Clearance at Target, so thats a win, win, win for us all.

Also, as of this week we are half cooked – I will be twenty weeks tomm.
I haven’t posted my belly pics lately because they got harder to keep up with but also in the posts to come you will be able to see my belly.
A few stats:
As of our last sonogram and doctors visit –
Mommy still has not gained any weight this pregnancy: I am assuming its because its just balancing out from gain and loss.
I still can fit the same pants that I wore pre-pregnancy with no issues or additional belly bands, which is a great thing at 5 months.
Baby weighed in at 7oz. and is about 8 inches long.
Baby is 100% girl.
Cravings are anything sweet and sugary.
No aversions
Pregnancy Brain is in full effect – I feel like a total space cadet at work and have to apologize for the dumbest things: the other night, I asked Amos to bring me something that I left downstairs, when he couldn’t find it, I realized it was right next to me the whole time.
I just started showing, where people can tell I am pregnant and not just gaining weight – some coworkers JUST found out yesterday that I was pregnant. I actually enjoyed just keeping that to myself for a good while.
Also, as its now the second half of this pregnancy, its now time to finish some housework and decor things. I am so excited to be able to share some of that with you as well.
Lately, we have been considering window tinting as opposed to traditional blinds on our arched window and some other tough places in the house that we want to be able to block- so that will be interesting.

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Gender Reveal: It’s A…

The moment that I found out that I was pregnant, I have been dying to know what we had conceived : a girl or a boy. I mean of course I was thoroughly excited that we were pregnant because we had prayed and struggled for years so it is definitely a blessing just to even get to this point. 
As of now, we (and I mean we, because Amos goes with me to every appointment – even the mundane quick non-eventful ones) go to the doctor every 4 weeks. 
At our appointment with my favorite Dr. in the practice (there are 3 total), [I have been seeing her for every appointment since I had my bout with Migraines] I asked her previously when we would know what we are having and she said that she would give me a referral at our next appointment, which happened to be July 8th. 
Until that time, I looked at every theory:
Chinese Gender Calendar : BOY
Skull Theory: GIRL
Heart rate average: GIRL
Ease of Pregnancy: BOY
Placement of Placenta: BOY
So each day, my mind changed as to what exactly I was having.
I actually told my husband that I really thought it was a boy because I probably wanted a girl too much and he actually said the same thing to me, just opposite: that he thought it was a girl, but wanted a boy for Legacy sake. 
So our last doctor’s appointment went great. 
They drew blood for all the genetic diseases and markers so that they can compare it to the Anatomy Scan to make sure that the baby is healthy and free from Down’s or any other handicaps that may terminate the pregnancy early. 
So with the referral in hand, we told the OB that we had a little bet going. 
She said that she wanted to know who won and what we would be having because they do not put it on the report so that they don’t accidentally tell couples who don’t want to know. 
We made our Anatomy Scan appointment for the first available appointment: July 9th, 1pm. 
Full bladder in tow we made it back to our doctor’s office to see our beautiful baby. 
All the fingers, toes, limbs, etc. were growing at the proper rate. The skull was measured and even the “fullness” of the stomach was examined and even the blood flow through the umbilical cord. 
It took about 20 good minutes for the technician to show us every little nook and cranny of the baby and print us the most random photos of baby’s foot, ears and hands. 
Our child has always been super active during the sonograms and even during listening for the heartbeat with the doppler – and this time was no different. On Monday, the doctor even said “WHOA! Lots of movement!” I said, “You’re telling me.” I feel it all the time.
And during the sonogram, the baby went from face up to face down/ booty in the air, to head butting the sonogram wand. I mean really?! I couldn’t help but just laugh at the fact that the baby would just not keep still. 
The tech asked if we wanted to know the gender. 
Mind you, I already peaked while she was measuring the femur bone of the baby. 
I have seen enough sonograms in the Baby Center chat rooms to kind of know what I am looking at – not to mention she said the heart rate and its been pretty consistent. 
Finally she said quickly : “Well this one’s a GIRL!”
My first response “I KNEW IT!”
My husbands: Silence. 
It’s literally taken him a few days to process that he is going to be the father of a little girl. 
It’s so cute! Amos knew he was having a little girl but just didn’t want to admit that it could be a possibility because he has a unique soft spot for little girls. It’s going to be very interesting to now see him interact with his own daughter. 
He has been an awesome husband throughout my pregnancy that I am so excited to see how he will be when our little girl arrives. 
We shall call her Princess for now, but I will reveal her name when she is born. 

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Guess who’s Bizzack!?

I know it seems like my 5 day weekend was never ending but it truly felt that way. Immediately I went from holiday weekend into a week long Sorority Convention. I absolutely have to recap all of my wonderful experiences … ACK! and I also have to post my Gender Reveal for those who do not follow me on Instagram or Facebook.. and the whole experience of our Anatomy Scan.. 
However, I was definitely pushed to the limit body wise.The hectic schedule and the length of time that I was up on my feet walking really made me realize that I am not as early into my pregnancy as I had been. I am officially a week from half cooked. Time to slow it down. SO – this was me when I came home from the hotel in D.C.

I shall return soon to give you the full rundown..
until then I am going to be reading other blogs to play catch up with what I missed while away. 

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