My First Day Back at Work

 
Yesterday was my first day back from Maternity Leave. I had been preparing for two weeks in order to calm my emotions in regards to leaving my baby at home with my sister in law while I go to work for 8 hours. I changed my schedule where now I leave at the butt crack of dawn – meaning that I leave my house AND get to work and the sun STILL isn’t up. I do that so that way I can get home to my baby as early as I can.
Do you understand how hard it is for a person like myself, who is NOT a morning person to not only get up early but to get out of the bed, get dressed in the dark and be as quiet as can be to get to the office to start working for 8 hours straight?
Yesterday, I did it with such energy – this morning … a bit of a struggle.
I can only hope that it will get a lot easier.
 
I think that I did pretty good. Of course I think about my baby all the day, but I didn’t (at least I don’t think that I did) bother my coworkers too bad with pictures and stories of my Gracie.
I pushed through the day unpacking my office boxes that I didnt touch before I left the office on Maternity leave, which was a good thing because luckily I got all new cases. So instead of coming back immediately to a caseload of 112, I am gradually being worked in and now only have 21 offenders that I am responsible for.
 
When the clock struck, I was out of there as fast as I can. That work fatigue hit me as I was nearing my house to the point where I missed my own exit. I needed a nap. But no naps to be had, my baby was waiting for me… or so I thought. Gracie was sleep – not thinking nothing about mommy being home. She had just eaten and been changed and was down for one of her many naps.

 
When she woke up, she smiled real quick and then went on about her looking around- I laughed at myself as I thought, she is too young to even express that she misses her mommy. I guess its a little too early to want some grand welcome from my daughter when I come home from work.
I was just happy that once she woke up, she wanted to be chatty cathy and was baby talking her little heart out. I asked her how her day was and she was just yapping away – and I loved every minute of it. I was just happy to be able to feed her and burp her. We did tummy time and then she fell back asleep. My boo had a great day and so did mommy. I did it. I survived – I made it.
Its absolutely emotionally hard for working moms to return to work.

My supervisor put it to me this way: she compared having a baby to the Twilight story. In the story it talks of Jacob imprinting on the baby of Edward and Bella. Having a baby is just like that. Once you have a child for the first time, almost immediately your focus zooms immdiately in to the child. It overtakes you and you don’t mind whatsoever. Even the people like me who were like, ” I want to have a baby, but I will never be one of those moms that talk all the time about their child, or post all these pictures of their child, or become a mommy blogger.” Problem is, as much as you enjoy the other parts of your life, the part that brings you complete joy is your child and you want to scream it from the rooftop!  So pardon me if you dont want to hear to much about my child, but the miracle of childbirth is just that – a miracle. This creature who is learning how to do things on her own for the very first time is amazing to think of when at one point she was merely an egg and a sperm that joined together.  I can’t say that I will get to the point where I will share less about her ins and outs but I will say, just as I return to work and find my new normal, I will return to the ways of the old me and will have more of “life” to share in the interim. Afterall, this weekend I am going to The BET Honors and the After Party and I know you want to hear about that! LOL Have a good one. post signature

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One thought on “My First Day Back at Work

  1. Cece says:

    Glad it went okay! It will get better. It's hard to get used to such a rigorous routine right away. And some day she'll be waiting at the door for you to come home!! : )

    Like

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