Daddy Daycare

For months before Gracie was born, I was obsessing about her daycare for when I went back to work. Months before I was due I was interviewing several in home day care providers and was calling daycare center for rates. What I could not have expected was that right when my maternity leave ended, my sister in law took a month of leave from her job to come and stay with us and watch our daughter while I returned to work, which made stressing about the care of our daughter that less stressful.
Once she left to return back to her home, we again were stuck with making that choice of who was going to watch our daughter. In a surprising turn of events, Amos said “I do not want to send her to daycare, she is still too little.” He decided to negotiate with his job and is able to now work from home a few extra days during the week in order to watch her himself! 
I was so surprised that he signed himself up for Daddy Daycare. Mind you when I hinted that this could be a possibility while I was pregnant, he was hearing none of it. Thankfully, when our daughter was born, she stole his heart enough for him to rearrange his whole life around her. I could not have asked for anymore peace of mind. My husband is joining the few and growing WAHD (work at home dads). I couldn’t be any more proud of him. 
They are going to have so much fun! The few times that I am home with them together, I get to watch them thoroughly enjoy each other. 

This was this morning – she absolutely has always been so alert. When we noticed that she does like to pay attention to things now, we made sure to expose her to some kid friendly things. She loves watching Sesame Street. Unfortunately her little self can only stay awake for the first half of the show since she is pretty much awake for about two hours before it comes on.
Well, today is the day… Daddy Daycare : Day 1. 
I am sure that they will have fun and pretty sure that eventually I will be getting videos like this one below of them two together. We watched this yesterday and was cracking up. Something about those daddy/daughter moments.

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From the Archives: Additive? I think not!

Back when Notes was popular on Facebook, I was known to jot a few down here and there. I want to share a few with you here for your reflection and feedback on the topics. 
I bring you the first one that speaks about love, relationships and marriage. I originally wrote this on August 25, 2006. At the time I was living in Chicago, having just moved there in December 2005 in order to complete my Masters at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois. I had ended a 4 and 1/2 year relationship at the top of 2005 and was really praying in that season for someone who was right for me, which meant that I was super sensitive about anything relationship related. 
This is a picture of me from 2006 – age 24 and probably at the weight I wish I was at this age… but thats a completely different post. 

So I bring you “Additive? I think Not!”
Every morning I am awakened by my radio alarm that is preset to Chicago’s own 107.5 WGCI. Every morning it wakes me just as the relationship hour is on and I hear the craziest relationship questions…
Well for the last week the conversation has been quite disturbing because there is this guy that is on there every morning. He is 24 years old and thinks that he is an expert in relationships and yet is not in one himself. 

The original question that was asked, which is one that I have heard many times was ” I am an educated, african-american female that has her own place, no children, a car, and a very good paying job but can’t seem to find a decent man. What is it that men want, because I feel as though I am something that they would want, and yet I am still single?” 

This sent the conversation into a number of comments from “women shouldn’t be looking for men… to you must have something wrong with you that you just can’t see. If you are attract what you are and you are attracting trifling men, then you must be trifling.”

The comment that he continues to drive home on a daily basis is that “Women are an additive to Men.” His reasoning is because Women take the last name of a man, and because he feels as though no matter what role we have in the workplace, we must leave it at the door and become whatever it is that he wants us to be in the home (whether it be a cook, maid, or lover) because we are submissive, we must be the additive.

I BEG TO DIFFER!!!! And anyone who agrees with this line of thinking. Women were never created to be an additive. People do not complete people in relationships. People COMPLIMENT people in relationships. When God made Adam, he already had Eve in mind. He has made us to seamlessly compliment our soulmates or helpmates as some would put it. Its like a puzzle. Each piece has a unique shape. But when you put one end to the other, it completes the puzzle. Each connection is complimentary and neither piece is an additive to the other.

So many people misquote the Bible when they only quote the verse that says “Wives submit to their husbands…’ and forget the rest that says “as he submits to the church.” If you are dating someone who doesn’t even go to Church, how dare they expect you to submit. And if they were walking in the will of God, they would know in order to be treated like a King, which women have no problem doing, you must treat your woman as a Queen. She is not subordinate to you. Thats why God gave Adam the animals first. Those are the things in which man was supposed to have dominion over. God never created Eve to be a creature for Adam to have dominion over. Thats the purpose of the animals. We all have a place and a purpose. Being an Additive is not a woman’s purpose in life. We were created for more than that!

The quality of relationship that you have with the creator will shape the quality of the relationship with your mate. If you haven’t found each other yet, its because there are still some things that need to be worked out individually before you can contribute to each other without having to compromise your integrity and your true self away. He or She is on the way.post signature

Inspired by the Oscars and Mayhem

“No Matter Where You’re From, Your Dreams are Valid”  – Lupita Nyong’o
My little one is not even three months old yet, but I am much more aware of the things that we watch and what she is exposed with hopes that the world that is growing and changing is changing for the better. I hope and pray that the things that I had to go through, she will never have to experience with prayers that the world we live in is truly becoming more inclusive and embracing and that its not just a trend. We all want that for our children. Not just the ones that we give birth to but for every child that we come across and hopefully impact with our “be better than us” messages. 
Gracie is not yet able to communicate in language that is understandable but she is cooing up a storm. One day she will be able to truly tell me what her dreams and desires are. With parents that both have interest in the performing and visual arts, there will come a time where we will truly expose her to the arts. One day, she may even ask me if there are any persons that look like her that she can look up to as she figures out what she wants to do in life. It may not even be her searching for her life’s career but something as simple as motivation to audition for the school play or to go out for the solo in dance class, motivation to finish a painting for an art exhibit for the school gallery or the courage to join the debate team. She can choose to do whatever it is that she wants to do. 
I remember being in those same positions: that place between the desire to do something, the courage to dream that you can be the one to do it and the search for the support to get it done. Even at a young age, children seek for that support. I am so glad that at least in this season there are things that I can collect to save for Gracie for when those times come. Lupita’s acceptance speech gave me just the quote in which my daughter can live by – if not all of us… [this is proof that] “no matter where you’re from, your dreams are valid.” Whether you are a dark skinned woman from Kenya or an Afro-Latina from the East Coast – your dreams are valid. 
Until that ah-ha moment, it is my responsibility to nurture that dream so that she never gets discouraged or shy away from the gifts that are within her. 
I remember the day that I discovered my moms arts and crafts closet. I think it was the one thing that I needed to confirm that I was actually gifted in visual arts. Knowing that my mother did it gave me the confidence I needed. You see, my mother used to have her own handbag line. One day, I discovered her vintage sewing machine made for sewing leather. Then I discovered trash cans and cups that she used to customize and package for clients. I discovered her sculptures and paintings signed with her maiden name. They were awesome pieces of work. I eventually discovered her modeling portfolio. I realized then that the woman I only knew then as a radio DJ, writer and preacher was also a visual artist and it was something that I too was interested in. Because of my mother’s busy schedule, combined with our equally busy dance schedule, we didn’t really have a lot of time to do arts and crafts. The great thing in discovering all of those hidden gems around the house at a young age, I realized that my mother had just about tried everything and in my mind did everything! It meant I did not have to choose and that I could literally be anything and EVERYTHING I wanted to be. 
It’s the message that I want to pass down to my daughter. That all the skills I have acquired in just trying to “make it” through life and all of the dreams that I once had, she too doesn’t have to choose. She can be whatever she wants to be and Lupita’s right – your dream is valid.
One mother doing just that for her daughter, is a mother that has recently blown up on the internet thanks to a quick little write up in the Huffington Post. @2sisters_angie on Instagram, was tucked away in a little corner of the internet. See she was beginning to find her dresses in her daughters toy box after she decided to play dress up. She then asked her daughter, whom she has nicknamed Mayhem if she wanted to make paper dresses. 
What first started like this:

Has now turned into this:
The 4-year old had picked this dress out at the start of the Globes long before it was selected the next morning as one of the best dressed. It has truly peaked the interest of this Fashion Illustration & Merchandising minor student and gave me something to look forward to when my daughter prayerfully shows interest at that age. For more of this little cutie, you have to visit FashionbyMayhem.com or follow her mom on Instagram at @2sisters_angie. Mind you after her post on the Huffington, needless to say her whole world has exploded and she has gone from a few hundred followers to over 250K followers. 
Simply, I have been inspired by the Oscars to embrace my own dreams and the dreams of my daughter and it has been confirmed by a little 4 year old named Mayhem, who looks forward to the time of day when she can construct dresses with her mother. It truly reminds me of the time where my whole creative world opened up by discovering my own mothers treasures. 
Have a wonderful day!

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