Monday’s Musings: My 30th Birthday Edition

Well… I am OFFICIALLY in what I call “The Golden Girls” Club. 
As a mere young woman in my 20’s, I begrudgingly looked towards the 30’s with angst! 
I teased anyone over their 20’s as being old ladies.. but honestly, a few days in – I can say that I was actually excited about turning 30 after all. Its something about being yourself and speaking your mind with a mature age behind you that people respect a bit more…. that and other things that come with age  – like being sure of yourself.
I had to change my bio over there on the side to say 30 year old and not a 29 year old. 
I guess technically I am no longer a part of the 20 something bloggers on the blogosphere, although I hope that I can at least be the hot older sister 😦
Does that mean I have to really now journal about the things that 30 year olds think about in detail. Sigh. 
Get ready for all the 30 year old yumminess that will be coming your way soon. 

Well, here is part of how I celebrated my 30th Birthday this weekend. 
My husband took me to one of my favorite breakfast spots :
These (Cracker Barrel) are rare where we live so, luckily we don’t live too far from one
The rest of the day was spent relaxing and pampering for a night of fun with my friends.. 
Here is Look #30 – hairstyle inspired by a look I saw on Brandy

I even tried out my new mineralizing powder and shades of foundation by MAC to try out a better blended contoured look.. I was actually quite pleased with my purchases because the help I received at the counter was horrid- HORRID I SAY! 
NYX eyeshadows and lipgloss. (if you want to know more specifics, just let me know).
I also had an 80’s themed BBQ at our home! 

My husband was on the grill and made some of the best ribs I have tasted.. 
Here we thought we were a bunch of cool kids from the 80’s .. although shhhh he was born in the 70’s. 
And I know you are digging my shades! At least I was for the day. They are definitely inspired by one of my favorite late 80’s/ early 90’s shows, “A Different World”.

My Best Friend, DJ Nutty came and DJ’d my party in the house, playing the best 80’s hip hop and R&B songs. We turned our Media Room into a club, with dance floor and VIP section (not really- it was just where I pushed the couch on the wall and pretended I had staff to bring me food and drinks). 

We literally entertained our whole neighborhood with the music! We had it blasting all over the neighborhood, but we did warn neighbors and we didn’t have it rocking into the late night so we were at least respectful on that end. 
We even had a mic to pretend like we were MC’s

My friend such a fun 80’s shirt.. my pic just shows the glow, but the one below shows how it lighted up throughout the night. 

All in all I had a blast! Thanks hubby for such a wonderful birthday weekeend. 
Yesterday was part 3 watching football and eating left overs… 
So.. here is how I did in Fantasy Football:

Weekly Results

WEEK 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 TOTAL PCT
Your Entry 138 98 236 77.0
Median 122.0 96.0 218.0 50.0
Best 183 190 312 100.0

Currently in the Bloggers Challenge : I AM TIED FOR FIRST! even though I didn’t do as great.. my team played horrible or should I say, “THE REPLACEMENT REFS ARE HORRIBLE!”

miscellany monday at lowercase letters

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Monday’s Musings: 30 Looks to 30

So… the countdown is winding down.. 
I will be 30 years old on the 14th day of September. 
And although 30 seems just a bit scary for me and exciting all at once, if that is possible – I still feel like the little girl pictured below…
I have never been a big birthday party girl. As sociable as I am, it just never was my thing or maybe I made it not my thing. I love to throw parties and serious events for other people but when it comes to my own – I lack. So this year, I am going to attempt to do something wonderful. 
In the meantime, I have mentioned before that I love to change up my hair (and make-up).. and what really doesn’t help this addiction is the fact that I can do my own hair and play in make up galore almost to a fault. It all started when I was 12 and bored and had uneven hair.. I took a pair of scissors to my pony tail while my parents were at work. The rest is history.. 
So now. How should I wear my hair to step into the Big 3-0???
Over the last two years – I have such a hair collection that I really can not choose. 
Let me walk you through my (roughly) 30 looks to my 30th Birthday.. I am sure you are going to be just as confused as I am. 
To give you some background, I am natural – meaning, my natural hair has no straightener applied. I do things like keep it braided to allow it to be protected and grow and then do sew in weaves or glue in weaves and may dye it with semi-permanent color from time to time. The looks are endless.. 
So please help me choose.. 30 looks to 30
I am SURE there are more… 
#1 – Early 2010
Ignore John Mayer and look at my hair  – Classic weave with Remi hair, getting bored with Brown hair
#2 – Feb 2010
Moved the part over, lightened and lengthened but STILL boring brown

#3 – June – 2010

Took the plunge, dyed my natural hair blonde, then added weave. Loved this! my hair not-so-much. Resulted in major breakage
#4 – August 2010
Same but with a side part and pinned to the side. 
 Found a new Remi Hair (Indi Remi) – best match for my dyed hair

#5 – August 2010
Same hair, but worn with both sides down
#6 – August 2010
Two toned, remi weave. 
#7 – September 2010
Shorter look from wedding day. Part closer to the middle. 
This is the look that is on my license picture. If you don’t think about it, let me offer you this advice – Look your best on Drivers License renewal day. Its a picture you will be showing to strangers.

 #8 – October 2010
Got over wanting the long hair and did a short cut for a while and variations of this. Due to breakage eventually cut off the back of my hair. 

#9 – Late 2010
Naturally curly, with half wig extensions
#10 – Early 2011

Softer curly hair, straightened the front with a flat iron plus half wig extensions
Natural hair is still braided underneath
#11 – Easter 2011
Went back to a layered short look. (glued in and it started to itch)
#12 – Summer 2011
After chopping off all my hair post wedding, this was the first time I allowed myself all summer to be weave free to let it breathe and grow
#13 – Fall 2011
Ignore the mascot, I work in Youth Ministry – 
but decided I missed my longer hair so it was about that time.
 #14 – October 2011
I missed my blonde from the wedding but overshot the look by a few notches up
So now I was a brighter blonde then usual
#15 – October 2011
Loved the color but wanted this shorter length for some edge

#16 – November 2011
Knew that winter was coming, therefore no more summer/fall blonde
Added more brown and more layers

#17  – December 2011
Got into an indecisive rut, so when in doubt add a ponytail
#18 – Christmas Eve 2011
#19 – New Years 2012
Inspired by Angela Simmons, lengthy/ wavy
#20 – March 2012 – We moved into a new house, new me!
My natural hair has GROWN! Woo- hoo. Dominican Press Spring has commenced

#21 – Spring 2012
Trying not to get bored with the press, so tighter curls and layers

#22 – Easter 2012
Hair is still natural

#23 – Mother’s Day 2012
My sister and I had to do an event, so we both were inspired to wear auburn tresses
 #24 – Summer 2012
Back to Blonde for the Summer, it just allows me to have more fun!

#25 – July 2012
Still blonde, but dark roots due to the fact that I don’t want to have to chop my hair off again
#26 – Late July 2012
Last week of blonde for me
#27 – Bridal Shower August 2012
Wanted a wet and go look but longer… then the following picture happened

#28 – Wedding Anniversary 2012
Hair was WRECKED in the salt water, but can’t wear this every day

#29 – Late August 2012
Back to naturally curly, a few extensions for length
#30 – ??????
As you can see, I have a bit of Hairstyle A.D.D. and need major help.
Will I ever settle on a style? probably not. I am an artist and love the change, but I totally need help.
Try something new?
Try something old?
What would you do??
LAWD help!

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Countdown to 30: 30 Things Every Woman Should Know Before 30

This Glamour Article written in 1997 has become one of their most popular articles to date and has since been expanded into a book. Huffington Post recently published the article as well…
I had seen the list also circulate from time to time…
However seeing as though today I am 4 months and 19 days away from my 30th Birthday: It’s time to start planning for the Soiree and more importantly plan for the mindset shift that comes with saying goodbye to your twenties.. YIKES!
According to the writer, Pamela Redmond Satran
By 30, you should have …

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age — and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account — all of which nobody has access to but you.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.

By 30, you should know …
 1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. How you feel about having kids.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
8. Where to go — be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat — when your soul needs soothing.
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
15. Why they say life begins at 30

This definitely resonates with where I am.. and it seems like at the most, I may need to take a trip to Sears sooner then I thought. Now grant it, I have definitely spent money on some ridiculously expensive things and I may even make you privy to such, but I am not sure about the whole spending my own money… having the ability to do so is one thing and still have people in your life who are willing to do that for you.. hmm… maybe that’s just a Jasmine philosophy.
The countdown begins.

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30 Things.. Before I (or you) Turn 30

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” — Maria Robinson

With each New Year, we make a list of things that will make us a better person in a years time or less. After a while, it may be hard to even think of resolutions that may actually change our lives for the better. This year, I will turn 30 years old. Nine short months from now… It’s causing me to think back over my life and take inventory. I came across these things to examine… I offer to you this piece of Sunshine written by Marc and Angel Hack.

  1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
  2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
  3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
  4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
  5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
  6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
  7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
  8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
  9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
  10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
  11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
  12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
  13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
  14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
  15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
  16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
  17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
  18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
  19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
  20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
  21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
  22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
  23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
  24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
  25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
  26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
  27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
  28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
  29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
  30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.